As usual on my way home from work, I called my mom to check in. We discussed current events about the day and finished up with plans for the evening. I had a few new purchases to return and thought tonight would be a good time to get that accomplished. I also wanted to do something that required no thinking and/or someone calling out Ms. Gaddis while tapping on my arm (just a few of the joys of being a 1st grade teacher). As we are ending up the phone conversation, my mom throws in a very interesting tid bit of information.
There are a few things you should know before I continue. The first is that my dad NEVER does anything half way. If he decides that he wants to get a bird feeder, he buys 5 of the most expensive ones, rushes home to fill them with 50 pounds of seed, and will even build metal stands to hang them from. Notice that he can't just have one. He needs many. My dad has more hobbies than anyone I have ever known. He is never bored because he is always experiencing something new. What I am telling you is that my dad has done it all. He has an expired pilot's license. He has developed his own photography. He can make pens and other fun things from wood. He has more tools than Lowe's, Sears, and Home Depot all put together. With these tools, he has fixed many things. (He likes to tell us every time he uses a tool that it "sure is a good thing I have this useless tool" wink, wink.) The only problem is that he often has more than one of each thing. I can't tell you how many chainsaws that he owns, but never fear if there is a need to clear a forest because he alone has enough equipment. With all of this being said, my dad always has the best on the market, but also EVERYTHING that might go with it. (This drives my mother crazy. However, she is his number one enabler. If he wants it, she will do her best to make sure he gets it. He has an amazing ability to convince her that he "needs" this stuff and she falls for it every time.)
The second thing that you should know is that my dad is a wonderful teacher. When he discovers something new, he loves to share that information. I can't tell you the number of people he has taught how to do some hobby or another. (His latest interest is wood working. He creates pens, ornaments, trinkets, and other things.) So with all of his interests, he tends to spend more time teaching others how to do it than doing it himself.
The third thing you should know is that my friend, Melisa, married a man that enjoys hobbies almost as much as my dad. He tends to get really involved in something and after a little while moves on to something else. My dad began showing Ryan how to make pens (Ryan has learned how to make many more things since then) and now they have a booth in Gainesville this weekend to sell their wares. From the outside looking in, it appears that if my dad will be interested in it, then Ryan may very well follow suit before too long because wood working is not their only point of interest. Now back to the conversation with my mom.
As I am getting ready to hang up, she mentions that my dad has done something outrageous (in her opinion). I ask what and she says that he has ordered bees. (My dad has said for my entire life that he would like to have several bee hives. It appears that he has just now decided to fulfill that fantasy.) My mom discovered that he ordered three sets of bees to put into three different colonies. (This is also an appropriate time to mention that my dad has NO hives. He has said that he will be building them. He does nothing if it is not perfect so the bee hive making could take quite a long time. He only has until the spring before the bees arrive.) My mom wonders aloud why he chose to order 3 and not just start with one. As I mentioned before, he does nothing half way. If one bee hive is good, then 3 will be amazing.
My mom is relaying this information to me and is getting madder by the minute. She is frustrated that it will not just be a little bee endeavor, but a big bee event. My parents have always worked as a team and my dad made this play without consulting with her. One of the first things that she asked him was why didn't he discuss this with her before beginning this process. She figures that she might have talked him into starting small and then going big. At this point, I am already imagining him in full bee attire and she says, "He doesn't even have the clothing. He is going to have to buy all those bee clothes now, too!"
I decide to intercede to give my dad a little help in simmering my mom's anger (this is not always a good choice because I am a lot like my dad and that can sometimes have her angry at both of us when I am just trying to help). I finally stop her ranting and say, "Mom, there is one consolation in all of this." She responds with, "WHAT?" I tell her not to worry, that before long Ryan will be growing bees, too! We both died laughing and then I decided to call my dad and let him in on our conversation.
I have all of us on 3 way and start asking my dad about the bee adventure we are about to embark upon while my mom remains silent in the background. He begins filling me on all the details and when my questions become very pointed, he just says that he can't explain it, but will just have to show me. He also mentions that the honey bee is becoming extinct and that if we aren't careful we could loose a major source to growing food. (Apparently, you can't garden without honey bees.) That is when I tell my mom that she must stop being mad. Dad is being completely selfless in growing honey bees. He is doing it for all mankind. She says something along the lines of "yeah right." She also brings up the point once again that 1 or even 2 would have been enough. I ask my dad about the bee apparel and he says that he is going to have a bee keeper (friend of his) come and "rob" the hive the first time to show him how to do it. He says the only thing that he will need is a "bee" hat. (My mom says under her breath that it will probably cost $400.) I told her not to worry about the hat. We can go to Wal-mart and buy one of those lingerie laundry bags and use a baseball cap to make my dad a "bee" hat. (By the way, the cost of each colony of bees is about $75. That is very reasonable in my opinion.)
I also pointed out to mom something that she has not even considered. In one year, we will be bottling honey and before long we will all have honey money coming our way. I imagine that she was rolling her eyes, but it was too funny to resist. I will admit to being very excited about this bee adventure. Call me next fall if you are interested in purchasing organic, fresh honey. I know where you can get some.
:o)
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