This is not what I expected …

There are a million and one things that I could write about tonight, but for some reason this is what is on my mind.  “This” being what I have expected out of my life.  I will admit to thinking that 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago (I’ve been teaching my students to count by 5s.) I had a pretty decent life picked out for myself.  This life that I'm living is not what I expected …

One of the most vivid conversations I remember having with my grandmother on a hot summer day was my desire not to return to school.  I mentioned in passing that I wished that I never had to go back and she decided that was an opportune moment for a life lesson.  She said that I had a lot more school years left ahead of me.  I would have to go to middle school, then graduate from high school, and after that go to at least 4 years of college.  I also remember thinking in that moment that she was “crazy” and that I would never go to college.  What a shock that I now hold 4 degrees.  This is not what I expected …

I always thought that after college I would return home to the place I love most (the North Georgia mountains) and begin my teaching career at my former elementary school as a 2^nd grade teacher.  I used to imagine about a classroom of my own while I was still in elementary school myself.  I stood before a small chalkboard and mimicked the things that I heard throughout my day.  “Turn to page 54, write down the words in bold print, turn to the glossary in the back, and write the definition for each word.  When you have completed this assignment, bring it to me to check.”  I practiced this speech until it was perfected in my little voice with just the right amount of firmness and love.  Now I never get to say that.  Instead, I repeat 100 times a day, “Write your name on your paper, sit down on your behind, and STOP TALKING!”  However, for those of you who are wondering, we will get to the glossary (and its purpose) soon.  I do this all in a 1^st grade classroom in Dawson County in a school that I helped open, 8 years ago as a 2^nd year teacher.  This is not what I expected …

From a very young age, I dressed up in a white night gown that belonged to my mom and pranced around the house like a bride.  I married several different men.  The men included, but were not limited to, Scott Baio, Kirk Cameron, and in later years Dean Cain (when he was playing Superman).   I cooked dinner while taking care of the children and rode to the grocery store in my Volvo.  Really I was just playing around in my parent’s ’79 lemon yellow Toyota truck.  I married right out of college.  I had a lavish wedding with lots of guests.  Did I mention that I had at least 4 wedding showers?  We got everything we registered for.  I only worked for a few years before starting to grow our family.  We rented for a few years and then bought some property and built a huge house.  None of this has happened for me.  Instead I did not marry right out of college.  I did not get the Volvo, but I did get a Rodeo and I bought a 1970s house on a little under 2.5 acres of land that I love.  I live alone in my 3 bedroom 2 bath house with no one else’s laundry to do, but my own.   I pay all the bills with the Lord’s help and for now, the bank and I own my house.  In just under 27 years, it will all be mine!  This is not what I expected …

In my life plan at the almost tender age of 33 (my 33^rd birthday is only 6 months away), I envisioned 2 or 3 children with my last name.  By the way, while I was thinking this, I once thought it would be one boy and one girl, or one boy and 2 girls, and then it turned into 3 girls, then triplet girls, then triplets with 2 girls and a boy.  What I have instead are 17 students.  I get to celebrate some of the most amazing future champions of this world every day.  I know that one day they are going to be productive citizens that contribute to society in big and small ways, but for now I am just teaching them to read and write and learn their math facts while also teaching them empathy (this must be developed by the age of 8 or it will never come to fruition).  I get to celebrate other people’s children all the time, but none of my own.  This is not what I expected …

Life has not really turned out the way that I thought it would.  I had big dreams as a child and have seen dreams that I never dared to dream come true.  I am more blessed than anyone I know, but I will admit that there are some dreams that I am still waiting on.  This is not what I expected … It is so much more and in some ways so much less!

:o|