Waxing

It's time for me to get my eyebrows waxed again.  For many women, this chore is not too major, but for me it is something that I dread from the time I leave getting waxed until I return.  Why you ask?  It's because I am literally getting my face peeled off.  I realize that it hurts no matter who you are, but for me the pain is much more.  (That will always be the case if you are wondering because this is all about ME!)

I leave my house with my mission in mind.  My heart is pounding and I am developing a slight sheen of sweat on my forehead.  I drive 5-6 minutes down the road and pull into the parking lot.  My stomach starts feeling as if frogs are inside.  My face turns red as I open the door and quietly pronounce that I am here for an eyebrow wax.  I take the dreaded steps through the door that has a beaded entry to "ensure" privacy and I lay down on the champagne colored surgical (or  not) bed.  The lady who will be performing my procedure begins with small talk, but I have already begun with the wringing of my hands and I'm having a difficult time following her accent anyway.  So, I just smile and nod my head when appropriate.  She shoves my bangs into a teeth/claw like headband (my hair never looks pretty when I leave) and she dips the popsicle stick into the hot wax and blows to cool it down.

I am squeezing my hands together as tightly as possible and my eyes are closed.  I try to think about 10 minutes from now when I feel her touch my face and apply the wax.  She takes a thin strip of cloth and places it over the warm wax and then rubs it (the rubbing is not soothing at all).  After about 5 seconds, she then holds my brow taught and rips the cloth that is glued to my face away.  This continues over both brows and 10 minutes pass and then she takes out the terrible tweezers ...

The tweezers are used to thin out the areas in, around, and between the eyebrows.  I'm still wringing my hands together because I know it isn't over yet.  She takes the tweezers and begins pulling over and over and over at small hairs that are still in place.  She stops and suddenly I feel relieved.  I open my eyes and realize that she isn't finished, she is just comparing one side of my face to the other.  She leans over me again and is back for more.  Finally it is over, she hands me a mirror to take a look.  (I always say it looks great because I have no energy to remain in the chair.)  The masochistic lady then takes some kind of oil and does her best to remove any remnants of wax.  After nearly rubbing my face off with the oil drenched cotton ball, she fills another cotton ball with aloe and smooths it over my eyebrows.  It isn't soothing, it is cold and that in my opinion is the only advantage.  The headband is jerked from my hair and my bangs fall into the remaining aloe.  Now my hair looks greasy and unwashed.  Great!

I somehow manage to sit up, put one foot in front of the other, and walk to the counter to pay.  As I pull out my card, I realize that I have just spent the last 20 minutes in agony and now I am going to pay for it with a smile on my face.  Have I mentioned yet what I look like?  Well, this is the fascinating part.  Besides having greasy parts to my hair, my entire upper face is blood red.  All the way from the inside of my eyebrows to my hairline.  I look as if I have been in a fight and I didn't win.  The really bad part is that I will remain this way for the next 5-6 hours.  So when I get a wax, I must be able to either wear my sunglasses or return home to hide out as a recluse.

I once asked someone who was waxing my eyebrows why it hurt me so bad and she said because my eyebrow hairs were "deep" in my skin.  That in my opinion is a good reason to leave them there.  It is not unusual for me bleed and also have the skin removed during this process.  Several days after a waxing, my eyebrows will still be tender and dry due to the skin being removed.  So if you happen to see me wondering around with bushy eyebrows, don't judge.  It's because I have yet to work up the nerve to have my eyebrows waxed.  It is really worse than having an operation because at least during an operation you can sleep.

:o)